Obviously Obese

You're ugly. You ain't go no alibi. You're ugly. You're ugly. You're U-G-L-Y! Goes the cheerleader chant. When you're rooting for your team and want to psyche out the other team your cheerleaders "trash talk" their opponent. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) isn't acting like an opponent. It's obvious that our children, grandchildren and all of us are fat. Yes, we're fatter than we were in 2007 and unless something else changes we'll be fatter in 2014. We're probably fatter than we were in 1807. The CDC's solution:

"More than one third of U.S. adults are obese. Weight gain occurs when you consume more calories than your body uses. Reaching and maintaining a healthy weight will help you prevent and control many diseases and conditions. The key is FINDING A BALANCE in your lifestyle that includes healthy eating and regular physical activity." - Center for Disease Control and Prevention (Finding Balance)

We don't support that as a regional or national alternative. We didn't gain weight as a national mission. We gained weight all the while trying to improve our economy, keep our jobs, saving our investments and stay alive. Unless we can embark on a national mission that will improve our economy, save our jobs, increase our investments all the while keeping us better alive we don't support it. We can't support it.

"Mean Body Weight, Height, and Body Mass Index, United States 1960–2002 - During the last 2 decades the prevalence of obesity and overweight has increased in the United States (1–3). This is in part due to a shift in the distribution of BMI (BMI, weight in kilograms divided by height in meters squared) of the entire population. This report presents the changes in mean bodyweight, height, and BMI for the entire U.S. population from 1960 to 2002." -  Center for Disease Control and Prevention (October 27, 2004)

Gaining weight is what we do if not as American then as people in a civilized society. We get tall and we get wider. "Finding balance" is a humorous way of being absurd by the federal government that hasn't been either effective or reasonable for today's current lifestyles. We know what you want to know - how fat are we? We just don't want to be as overweight as our neighbors. "At least we're not as fat as the Jones." Or are we? The information in the CDC report comes from telephone surveys of some 405,102 people.


We conclude that since the information was collected by telephone and all the respondents we telephone owners then if you own a telephone it will make you gain weight. The solution is to rid ourselves of our telephones and if anyone asks say you're ten (10) pounds lighter than your actual weight. That way when the researchers call they'll think the country or at least the region has lost weight even though we've gotten taller. We think our suggestion would be more effective than the federal governments. Besides our suggestion, like a folk remedy, wouldn't hurt you, unless you actually believe your untruth.